Acronym anyone?

At the moment I'm COL (that's cat-on-lap, as in I can't answer the phone or I can't answer the door or I can't swap the laundry to the dryer because I'm COL, a state in which the lap must remain still and comfy no matter what other needs arise or sharp objects get poked into it). However COL, at our house, involves several steps beginning with the RFMC (race-for-my-chair, which occurs prior to COL in the evening just after dinner when at least three of us hurry upstairs to see who can get to the chair first). Then comes TBIC (three-butts-in-chair) as we negotiate for the most comfortable position. Only then do we achieve COL and at which point I usually stop trying to actually type (twisted around sideways with the laptop precariously balanced half on the arm of the chair and half on the pile of books on the table next to the chair) before I either drop the laptop or pull a muscle and just read.